Let’s talk about Internet dating. There are lots of reasons people turn to Internet dating in order to make a connection with another human being. The ads on television have kind of slowed down in the last few years, but for the longest time, you have been sold the bill of goods that Internet dating is the way to find your soul mate. Why, the way the commercials make it sound, you just have to sign up for one of these sites, answer a whole bunch of really personal questions about yourself, and then like magic, you’ll get matched up to people with whom you can make this wonderful connection. You and your soulmate will walk off into the sunset, and everything will be great. Right? Well, no, not exactly.

The problem with the whole concept of Internet dating is that it’s based on a faulty premise. You’ve probably heard the phrase that opposites attract and, honestly, there’s no guarantee that because somebody is a lot like you, they’ll get along with you, be compatible with you, and make a good life partner… is there? There’s just as good a chance that you might make a good connection with somebody who isn’t like you at all, somebody whose lacks are complemented by your strengths and vice versa. So what is this idea that just because someone answers a bunch of lame personality questions the same way you do, that they’ll somehow be the right person for you? It’s fundamentally an incorrect premise and a lot of people have bought into it because it gets advertised so much.

The other problem with all this is that in order to get matched up to someone on these sites, you’ve got to fork over an awful lot of personal information about yourself. This is no small thing, because people these days tend not to think about all the information about themselves that they are posting to the Internet. And even if that information doesn’t find its way into the wrong hands, do you really need or want to have all that stuff about you floating around the Internet for anybody to find? If you are ever unlucky enough to pick up a stalker or an angry ex, where do you think is one of the best places for them to stalk you online? It’s your online dating profile (followed by your Facebook page).

But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that there was at least some hope that you might meet someone buy doing Internet dating. Well, I don’t know if you’ve signed up for an Internet dating site recently (chances are good that you have), but really stop and look at the site sometime. Look at the suggestions for matches that you are getting. Can you really see yourself spending your life with most of these people? The majority of them are incredibly ugly. It’s depressing to log into your online dating account and discover that you’re getting matched up to loser after loser who looks like a fat pig. But that’s the pickings on Internet dating sites. Why is that? Because Internet dating sites are the last refuge of ugly women.

There are plenty of guys on Internet dating sites, because it’s often not easy to find a woman to date when you are a single man (or a married man looking for something on the side to supplement an unsatisfactory sex life). But women can always find someone to date them. Even an ugly woman simply has to lower her standards accordingly. There is always some horny, desperate guy who is willing to go out with, or sleep with, an ugly woman as long as she’s willing and cooperative, right? So who are these women who end up on Internet dating sites? Often, they are the worst of the worst, and they are completely undesirable. Are you so desperate for female companionship that you’re willing to start sending messages to ugly strangers in the hopes that maybe they’ll take pity on you and give you the time of day?

That’s another problem with the Internet dating environment, and that is that when you send messages to these ugly women, they act like they are entitled to your attention. Worse, they will reject you in messages or simply ignore you. They have been sold an illusion by the dating site that they have something to offer, so they act like they have the luxury of picking and choosing. The reality is that in the real world, there is nobody who wants them, so frankly, they should be happy with what they get… but because of the site and the illusion it sells them, they don’t realize this. So the Internet dating site selection process is itself designed to frustrate you and make you unhappy. Instead of resulting in you being happy and finding someone to spend romantic time with, it will result in you being frustrated and angry, and in you being rejected time and again by people who, if you approached them in a bar, would probably be grateful for your attention.

Now, let’s talk about the cost of Internet dating sites. You may think of Internet dating as a low-cost alternative, a way to find someone when you can’t afford an escort and don’t have the money to attract a woman on your own. (Women love money and, no matter how ugly you are, you can become magically attractive to a woman simply by having money. That’s why so many rich guys have sexy ladies on their arms. They have the magical attractant that all women want, and that all women spend their entire lives pursuing, and that is money. If you think this isn’t true, you are fooling yourself.) So men turn to Internet dating in the hopes of finally being selected on their merits rather than on the quantity in their bank accounts. But the question is, does this really work? Is it really a lower-cost alternative to say, paying for the time of a professional escort?

Next time, we’ll continue this article in Part 2.